Love Our Hate

I’m bringing in my voice regarding the unsettling times we are in right now. 

The level of violence, racism, bigotry and basic wrongdoing we are witnessing in this nation is waking up my disgust and hatred. I want to share what I believe is an embodied and grounded way to live our hate.

It’s important first, to “normalize” our reaction of hate, anger, disgust and rage. As we live in a world now with so many cues of danger and wrongdoing, it’s impossible to not feel our dislike and our hate to a variety of “WTF” experiences we are experiencing now!

As if the pandemic weren’t enough of a signal of pain and danger in our lives, then we witness the level of absolute self-righteous hatred and racism demonstrated by Derek Chauvin, the police officer that blatantly and unjustly killed a black man. And this dramatic scene was only only one of the many recent acts of violence against black individuals and people of color.

There has been an earthquake within the white supremacy underground that is feeling emboldened to come to the surface in plain view above ground now, and the more quiet racially biased population that has surfaced in a painfully vivid way right now.

Derek Chauvin and countless others who are supposed to represent the law, have been licensed by the greatest law breaker of our times, the president, to act out hate. Trump as the “parent figure” of our nation is painfully enjoying his power to influence or teach “his children” that the acting out of hate is OK.

However, I have been so heartened over the past few weeks by the outpouring of protests around the world against racism and bigotry. In truth it’s a protest towards all the dictators of hate, whether they are our president, other world leaders, people in power whether they are senators, policemen or whatever that aren’t holding the responsibility of their office with integrity, that need to be confronted in the courageous way that so many individuals are giving voice to now. 

So as we see these actions of malice, of injustice, of intolerance, of hatred, we should feel a level of rage, disgust and yes, even hatred. As human beings with a reverence towards human dignity, we should feel an absolute NO that isn’t soft and gentle but fiery and intense, that has anger and even the energy of hate or aversion at its center. We are supposed to have aversion to toxins, towards toxic behavior. Aversion is natural. Hate is part of being human.

How we live our hate, how we relate to our hate is what is the most important next step once we acknowledge the presence of our hate. Being present to the body sensations that are fiery and intense, that rage that can be felt within our bellies and hearts. As we are mindful and make room for the embodied experience of rage and hatred we are allowing the potency of our protest that lives at the center of our rage and hate, to be honored, known and supported.

We can then ask into the protest, anger and hate, “What skillful words or actions can follow my NO, my anger, my hate now?” What petition must I sign, what organization do I donate money to, what protest do I align with, where and how do I bring my voice into this violation of human rights and dignity?

When I watch this president act out in all the maniacal ways he does and can, I feel hate. There is no question in my mind that I feel my hate as I hear him speak and witness his complete lack of integrity, his malice, his intent to manipulate and treat people unlike him or who disagree with him with pure cold-heartedness and vengeance. I can only feel hate in that moment, not love or compassion. But I can bring love to my hate in that moment.

I can accept that my hate and disgust is here for a reason: to point out abuse, manipulation, lying, deceit, sadism, malice etc. To accept or bring love to my hate is not about acting out my hate, even tho’ I hurl some pretty ugly names at the president when I hear him on the news. Once I get that off my chest, my next moment in my personal and spiritual growth is to welcome my humanness that includes hate, and trust that it’s here for a reason, and it has a need: a need for action of some sort that my grounded hate, my grounded anger, my grounded “NO, this is not OK” is pointing towards.

We have love and we have hate circulating in our minds and hearts. There is a moving Native American story of the youth who asks the elder about which wins out in life, love or hate. The elder responds that whichever wolf you feed, whether it’s the wolf of love or the wolf of hate is the one that will triumph. So for me to love my hate as it arises is